In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight
henwy

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Rules for highly successful pirates

I ran across a list from a webcomic of rules for being a successful pirate. Based on the list, I'm thinking of giving the comic a look at some point. It's called Shlock Mercenary and has been around for years apparently. I look at this somewhat like the Evil Overlord list. Sure, it's unlikely to come in handy in any specifically referenced instance, but there are a great many life lessons you can adapt from it. For instance, I think Rule #30 has been a personal motto of mine for years.


  • * Rule #1: Pillage, then burn.

  • * Rule #2: A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.

  • * Rule #3: An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks EVERYBODY.

  • * Rule #4: Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.

  • * Rule #6: If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.

  • * Rule #8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.

  • * Rule #9: Never turn your back on an enemy.

  • * Rule #10: Sometimes the only way out is through...through the hull

  • * Rule #11: Everything is air-droppable at least once

  • * Rule #12: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.

  • * Rule #13: Do unto others.

  • * Rule #16: Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.

  • * Rule #27: Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.

  • * Rule #29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy, no more, no less.

  • * Rule #30: A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.

  • * Rule #31: Only cheaters prosper.

  • * Rule #34: If you're leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.

  • * Rule #35: That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.

  • * Rule #36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.

  • * Rule #37: There is no "overkill". There is only "open fire" and "I need to reload".
Tags: meme, pirates, web comic: shlock mercenary
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