Ever have a sense of existential dread? I'm not talking about dread with any known source. Just that feeling that something horrible has either happened or is about to happen. Imagine the feeling you would have if you just knew there was someone following you as you walked down a dark street or an alleyway and that would be a more extreme form of what I've been feeling the past 12 hours or so. It started as a sort of uneasy feeling last night and kicked up a couple of notches this morning. I immediately tried to run through all the horrible things that could happen in my life, of which almost sadly there are relatively few things. It's sort of like asking a guy living in a cardboard box how many possessions he would lose if a fire burned it down. Once I was sure no family members had died, that pretty much cleared the majority of my checklist. If something had happened, no doubt I would have pinned the feeling to some sort of eerie extra-sensory crap or premonition of doom, but what am I supposed to do when it seems that nothing has actually gone wrong?
The oddest part is I should be happy. I spent most of yesterday happily, if nervously, following the election in Mass to my shock, those Massholes pulled it off. It might well be the biggest political upset I've ever seen in my life so far and it was amazing to watch, even if second-hand and over the internet. Power of the people and all that assorted crap.
I always tend toward the pessimistic when it comes to election results so I found it almost hard to believe that victory was snatched from the jaws of defeat. I'm always willing to cheer it on, but deep inside there's always a hard nugget of cynicism that just knows the worst is yet to come. For a while, I was even thinking of buying Croakley shares on Intrade. I figured that way even if Brown lost, I could console myself with filthy lucre. The odds were holding at 2:1 for Brown for most of the day until the polls actually closed. In the end, the 5 point victory was far more than what I was expecting given the huge turnout levels. I guess the conventional wisdom that high turnout = Croakley victory really took a knocking.
Oh well. I'm thinking the best thing to do until the sense of doom passes is to just duck and cover. If I just throw a blanket over my head, maybe things will seem better tomorrow.