In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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When your food pyramid breaks

Lately, there's been a bout of stomach flu running through most of the family. At least, I'm guessing that it's the stomach flu. It started with Maddie vomiting at night for no explicable reason and then made its way through Will, Jeff, my mom, Grandma and Shelley too. I've had a few run-ins with the stomach flu in my life and I have absolutely no desire to experience it again. I figure the safest way to avoid it is to simply stop eating. It's not like I have all that much person-to-person contact with my family to begin with and I figure if I avoid anything anyone might have touched, especially food items and utensils, I should be golden.

It's sort of odd that I even have the will-power to stop eating in the first place having always been a big eater in the past. I always assumed that one of the unfortunate side-effects of disability was that I would balloon up like Fat Albert. I was always a big person but I figured it would soon go completely out of control once my daily activity dropped to almost zero. That hasn't been the case and I have no clue why. I find that most of the time I'm just not hungry and even if I am, if I just ignore it for a while it goes away. Other than a few chunks of gouda last night, I haven't eaten anything in almost two days and it's not a big deal. I often go for days without eating and there's no compensatory gorging at the end. It's as if I've discovered some sort of miracle fasting method that mostly just involves ignoring hunger and it works. It makes no damn sense whatsoever. I sometimes think about the irony where if I actually had a normal activity level and still managed to keep things going like this, I'd probably be svelte within a year or so with no effort whatsoever.

There is a mental component to this whole not eating thing too. I remember reading an article once about anorexics who said that there was almost a pleasurable sensation due to their applied body control and I know exactly what they're talking about. I certainly haven't taken it to any insane level (as is clear by my still tubby exterior) but there is something powerful in just telling yourself you're not hungry and having your body obey like it were a lap dog. I can't help but wonder if there's some medical screwup which explains the situation. God only knows what additional problem I could have which resulted in the lack of appetite. I just find it hard to really care though.
Tags: family, food, sick, weight

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