Iran rocket puts mouse, turtle, worms into orbit
NICOSIA — Iran has reported another launch of an indigenous rocket into space.
Officials said Iran launched the Kavoshgar-3 into space orbit on Feb. 3. The launch of the rocket, which contained a mouse, turtle and worms, was described as as part of a space research project.
"This is the first Iranian launch into orbit with a living thing," Iran's state-owned Press TV said.
The latest rocket launch took place during Iran's annual celebration of the 1980-88 war with Iraq. Earlier, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad unveiled the Simorgh rocket, described as a light indigenous space-launch vehicle.
"[Iranian] scientists will be sent into the space and they will observe the universe from there," Ahmadinejad said.
Am I the only person who feels that this sounds like news that would have come from The Onion? I actually checked around on several news sites before I was sure it was the real thing. I do find it sort of appealing that that camelfucker Ahmadinejad seems to be suggesting that a good chunk of the Iranian science core is made up of small animals and invertebrates. That doesn't make me feel any better about the fact that they crammed a turtle into a rocket and then blasted it into space.
As those of you who have followed along know, I have a soft spot in my heart for turtles which applies to few other living things (human beings included). If you want to know why, I refer you to my entry titled "Only Assholes eat turtles". Part of my irritation stems from the fact that I can't see what possible scientific gain there is to be had blasting a turtle, a mouse, and a handful of worms into space to begin with. They don't have the damn technology to retrieve the rocket so it'll just be another piece of space junk floating around the earth with its unfortunate travelers inside. Eventually, the orbit might decay and it'll come flaming back to earth, vaporizing in the atmosphere, but the turtle and his companions will be long dead by then. I just don't see the point of it all. I know it's probably just a pitiful cry for attention, but I can't see how it brings anything other than ridicule. Hell, if you really wanted to get a rise out of people maybe you should have just stuffed a toddler into the rocket.
In completely unrelated news, I have come to the conclusion that the best cheese in the world is smoked gouda. Please update your notes to accommodate this fact and feel free to share it with all those you encounter.