In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

  • Mood:

Coming unglued

This day has been a train wreck. At this moment I'm sitting at my desk slowly drinking a packet of soy sauce if that's an indication of how things are going. Well, not really drinking...more like slowly sucking. Maybe it's just a regression to childhood thing and what I really wanna do is curl up into a fetal position and suckle on a nipple. Any volunteers? Maybe I'm also finding the salt comforting somehow because it's kinda nice when all I've eaten today are a couple giant twix bars. It was a pretty piss poor day to begin with. I popped a couple codeine on an empty stomach and spent most of the morning to early afternoon wigging out. I felt completely dissociative, as if I wasn't really attached to my own body. Everything went weird and I couldn't think. My head felt heavy, my arms felt heavy, and all I wanted to do was fall over and go to sleep. I assume at least the first part of that is proably what people feel when they're taking drugs to get high. It's not a horribly unpleasant feeling but it's hardly fun. Feeling that way while racing the clock trying to get a poster finished however is hell on wheels.

The project stinks, the poster stinks, and I just want to scream. It looks like crap and I have no clue what to do with it. Shadow lover court me in my dreams, bring the peace that suffering redeems.

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