In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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Choo Choo

I've wanted to update quite a few times over the past half a week but something always seemed to be getting in the way. The pain situation still isn't fantastic but it's not as bad as it was just a little bit ago. At least the stabbing was mitigated enough that I could sleep, and that was actually the main cause for the lack of updates. It's very well possible that I've been running sleep deprived for quite a while due to pain issues. God knows that those times I felt closest to the edge were when pain and sleep issues collided. Imagine you were so exhausted that you could fall asleep at any moment and combine that with someone stabbing you with a kitchen knife. I figure that would be enough to make anyone a little insane if it went on long enough.

Anyway, since I was able to sleep again for more than a hour or two at a stretch, it's like my body chose to take the opportunity to catch up. I don't have an exact count but I wouldn't be surprised if I've spent more than 12 hours a day unconscious for the past few. I would still wake up ever 5-6 hours due to pain issues and more drugs, but that was a blessing compared to how it used to be. The exhaustion meant that as soon as the pills started to kick in, I would be out like a light once more.

In between bouts of comatose sleeping, I've been watching a buncha anime series that I had 'saved' and never gotten around to. It's sort of interesting but it seems that the activities I participate in depend a lot upon how the pain situation is currently going and how much attention the activity needs. If things are really bad then all I usually do is have something like NPR running in the background. It's basically something for which my attention can wander in and out and not have it be a problem. A bit better than that and I can watch anime as it doesn't require all that much effort to read subtitles. A bit better then that and I end up reading more, whether it be news articles or manga or whatever. At the top of the entertainment list are things like video games, which probably explains why I don't actually play them very often anymore. It just requires too much concentration usually and it's not something I can provide when McStabby is running amok. Not to mention the frustration index is usually through the roof during those times and compounding it by having your spaceship blown up or your adventurers slaughtered isn't a good thing.

While it's not entertainment per se, LJ also falls into the top category since, despite all appearances, it actually takes a little bit of effort to string along these sentences. It's one thing to jot off a quick comment or blurb on facebook but LJ takes a little more concentration then I sometimes have to spare. Sorta sad really if you think about it. It's not like I couldn't force myself through it but it's the smaller equivalent of trying to write an essay while being jabbed by the same kitchen knife. Your train of thought derails so often it's often not even worth the effort.
Tags: anime, chronic pain, facebook, lj-related, npr, reading, sleep, video games

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