blahI can't help but believe, firmly in my bones, that no good will come of this appetite change. I just know it's the harbinger of some doom that has yet to rear its ugly head. Just mark my words. In a month or maybe half a year or whenever, I'll come back here to post an entry about how I was just told I have cancer or some other previously undiscovered illness. Maybe I got AIDS from a public bathroom toilet half a decade ago and it's taken up until now to really kick in. I have no clue what it'll be but I'm just sure there's a very muddy shoe out there waiting to drop.
Anyway, back to the doctor's appointment. I basically told him about the horrors of the last couple of months without using any of the red-line words that would require him to take action. I think I was able to get across just how iffy the situation had gotten at one point, though in the end he still wasn't inclined to increase the dosage on the opiates. That really didn't surprise me any since it's just par for the course as far as these things go. No doctor wants to look like they're feeding their hophead patients. Instead, he prescribed something new which is supposed to help out, but in a minor way. It's a GABA agonist called Gabapentin which is supposed to help with neuropathic and chronic pain. I think it's supposed to stop the growth of additional nerves in the wound areas which might then freak out and send pain signals night and day. All in all, it's not supposed to do all that much on its own, but I suppose ever bit helps.
On the plus side, it does seem that the nightmare is over. The past couple of months might have been an absolute horror but things have receded lately. The pain situation is under control once again and is impossibly mild by comparison. It almost feels like a blessing. At this point, I'm looking to try to cut back on my dose as much as I can to try to build up anther stockpile for when the bad times come again. I seriously doubt I'd be lucky enough that things won't go to shit again somewhere down the line. What's really frustrating about it is that nothing has changed between now and 2-3 weeks ago. Nothing. There's no key or trigger that I can think of. Nothing has been different in my activity or diet or anything and yet I had such a drastic shift that ranged from wanting to blow my brains out to things being just hunky dorey now. Since I don't know what caused things to get better, I have no way of knowing how long this'll last. I guess all I can do is hope it hangs around for as long as possible and enjoy it while it does. The good times always end.
