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The king is dead. Long live the king.

Still reading the blog and it looks like they finally got him. It looks like he lasted a good year and change, which I imagine is probably close to a miracle.

Ultimate Kancho boy had teleported to the other side of the classroom, and with my ass perfectly unguarded he kanchoed me. I had no idea it was coming. I yelped out in surprise, jumping out from behind my teacher. Now, I was exposed to the mob. What happened next I can only describe as a Japanese-Roman orgy of grabbing and poking. I was gang-kanchoed/dick grabbed.

Doesn’t this count as rape in, oh, I don’t know, every other civilized country?

I can’t tell you who got what or what got hit or how many times. I don’t know how many of you have been in a position where 6-7 Japanese boys are grabbing your dick and sticking fingers up your ass simultaneously (show of hands?), but in that situation, you are only aware that you are being violated. I assume they got me good, but I honestly just don’t know. Maybe my mind is blocking it out, and it’ll take years of intensive therapy and thousands of Kleenex tissues to finally dredge it up again.

I wonder how many incidents there have been where this happens to an American teacher and their first instinct of whipping around with a backhand gets the best of them before they can stop themselves.

Holy cow. I just realized something else. No wonder pedophiles want to be teachers in Japan. It's a twisted world where if the wolf gets the right job the sheep will wander up and literally try to stuff themselves down its throat. The entire idea is just so warped and twisted I think it's sending my brain into vaporlock. It's apparently a job where little boys and girls will spend all day trying to stick their fingers up your ass and grab your dick. I mean...good grief. There are probably American pedos crying themselves to sleep each night, broken by the fact they weren't born in Japan.

On a sidenote, I did think the Naruto references were hilarious. I'm not sure it makes it any better but someone trying to grab your junk while calling out anime attack names probably does make it more hilarious for spectators.

Then again, maybe it's just a cultural clash sort of thing. I mean, if everyone tries to stick their fingers up your butt, after a while it probably doesn't seem strange or have a sexual bent to it.

I got my tea, headed back to my desk, and started reading my book. And that’s it, end of story. If this were America…good Lord, man! There’d be lawsuits, counter-suits, counter-counter-suits even! This shit would be on the evening news! “Tonight on Channel 5, instead of teachers molesting students, we now have students molesting teachers! Can we blame video games for this one? Film at 11.” The old farts on CNN Crossfire would be debating the ramifications! I’d have a book deal at least, “Obliterating The Line: The Azrael Story” or something like that. But no no no, not in Japan! In Japan, this is 5th period. The worst part is, even I stopped caring. The last little shred of American sanity was screaming at me, “Dude, that was fucking weird! That boy ain’t right! Do something!” But the rest of my brain, which is slowly but surely being assimilated by Japanese culture, was saying “Oh, ha ha ha! He tried very hard to grab my big black American penis. I admire his “gambatte!” spirit! Now, I must remember to pick up some tentacle rape animated porn on the way home from work, and see if I can’t grope a few high school girls on the train as I go.”

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
barking_iguana
Feb. 22nd, 2012 07:39 am (UTC)
I already knew aspects of Japanese sexuality were wierd and horrifying, but this takes the, um, cake.
henwy
Feb. 22nd, 2012 09:37 am (UTC)
I think the takehome message is that for the japanese it isn't sexual. Frankly, it's hard for us to wrap our heads around the idea that grabbing someone's penis isn't sexual, but you can't conclude anything else. I mean, if there were event a hint of sexual behind it, you wouldn't have girls and boys kancho'ing one another, right? It'd be like sexual foreplay or opportunism and I haven't gotten that sense from anything I've read.
barking_iguana
Feb. 22nd, 2012 12:46 pm (UTC)
Depends on how you define sexual, I guess. Not foreplay, certainly. But I guess it does shape children's developing sense of sexuality.
henwy
Feb. 23rd, 2012 01:59 am (UTC)
Unless you're using an overbroad definition, like anything to do with secondary sexual characteristics, it probably doesn't fall in. Like, you would say that breast feeding in public isn't sexual right? I imagine this is sort of like that, but it seems that the entire society as a whole agrees it's not sexual to boot. It's incredibly weird looking at it from outside the culture, but it really seems to be walled off as just something prankish kids do. The way you _really_ know that there isn't event a hint of this as sexual is I've yet to see it in any pr0n or even ecchi from the japanese. These are people I would have bet my life could fetishize _anything_ and yet I've never seen kancho or dick/boob grabbing in this fashion used in anything.
punkymcmunky
Feb. 22nd, 2012 11:28 am (UTC)
WTF?
henwy
Feb. 23rd, 2012 02:00 am (UTC)
Aren't the japanese fun?
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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