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Diet Update

The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself. 
-Louis C. K.

So I've been trucking along on this diet and I started weighing myself a couple days ago to see just how much weight had dropped. I started this fat enough that I basically went past the max weight of the scale at the doctor's office so I'm not sure exactly how much I've lost but my best guess is the number stands at somewhere between 40 and 45 pounds. The weird part about it is that it's really much of a noticable difference considering that it's 12% or so of body mass and all it's taken is practically starving myself for 3 and a half weeks.

Really though, it hasn't been all that hard and that sort of worries me too. I can pretty much go without eating for days and there are few if any physical effects. The fact that I'm actually eating at least 500 or so calories a day and just keeping it below 1,000 means that even those few symptoms have pretty much been eliminated. About the only thing I end up having to deal with is the emotional angst of it all, which is no fun.

I also haven't added any more activity to my daily routine though I know that at some point that's going to become necessary as well. Everything still feels frazzled and off-kilter with the whole kidney issue and part of me still feels that I should just give up and make a serious attempt to just eat myself to death. Heck, at least I might be pseudo happy for a time. I'm reminded that I still never got around to having one of those KFC double-down sandwiches.

*sigh*

I'm not sure how long this has to go on before I can actually internalize the change and it really feels like a new normal, rather than something I have to whip and drive myself to do every minute of the day. I guess the real test will be in another 3 weeks when I leave to go to Orlando and we'll see how long the will power lasts. I'm sure things will also get harder the longer I try to maintain this as the human body wasn't meant to function on 500 calories a day. It's all fine and dandy right now because I've got enough fat stores to survive a famine but at some point there's going to be repercussions and nutritional deficits that I'm going to have to somehow deal with. Supplements and vitamins will be problematic since many of the multivitamins and other concoctions will contain potassium or phosphorous, as well as other things the kidneys can't deal with and which could become toxic. It's all a mess.

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