In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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Everyone is dying. I'm just working a little harder at it than most

'Where ignorance is bliss,
'Tis folly to be wise.

-Thomas Gray

While I was down in Orlando my aunt Kaila made a comment that I looked pretty good, and overall I felt pretty good. Other than some postural hypotension brought about by low calorie intake, I was holding up pretty well. If anything, I was a lot more spry than I had any reason to be. I was walking about down there, distances that would have destroyed at least my feet if nothing else in previous times. I have no idea if it's the weight loss taking some of the strain off of the body or if there are other factors but you could make the argument that I hadn't been this 'healthy' in over a decade. The irony of it all got me thinking....

If it wasn't for modern medicine and all the tests and gobbilygook, I would think everything was fine. This whole kidney thing was pretty much asymptomatic up to this point, and what symptoms there were I would never have attributed to anyting dire. Who's to really say that bit of back ache was actually not a problem with your back but kidney pain? I would have kept on trucking along and eventually over the course of another 6 months to a year, simply felt a bit of fatigue. By the time things started to really become concerning, it's just as likely I'd have ended up dead without medical intervention. Frankly, I'm not sure if that isn't the better way for things to go in general. No angst or fuss, and things pretty much keep trucking along until the end. Too bad modern science and medicine had to ruin it all by forcing knowledge and wisdom upon us. Maybe we should have all just left that apple alone.

I should be doing my colonoscopy prep today but I'm procrastinating a bit. Well, more than a bit since I've been telling myself I should have started more than a couple hours ago. For those of you who have done a colonoscopy prep before, my reticence is probably understandable. It's been a pretty full few days since coming back to Jersey, filled with doctors and tests. I got a second opinion from a nephrologist in the city (Result: Still borked), got test results from my primary care, scheduled a stress test and echocardiogram with the cardiologist, and tomorrow it'll be a meeting with the first transplant center and the colonoscopy. Immediately after that, I'll hop on a plane back to Orlando. One interesting side effect of grandma having had such a good time down at Disney is that my mom has been expressing interest in going. This is no doubt goaded on by the fact that winter is quick-marking its way across jersey and the temperature has gotten pretty frigid of late. She even mentioned that maybe she would get a Disney World annual pass and/or a small condo/house down there, which I never would have imagined likely. She knows that Uncle James and Kaila will be down there quite a bit when they retire at the end of next year and maybe curiosity has gotten the better of her.

God, this shit is vile. They didn't even bother to give me some sort of fruit flavored mask this time. It's like drinking stale sweat. Now I get to look forward to the countdown to explosion. FML.
Tags: colonoscopy, disney, kidney disease

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