I got back from Orlando still holding at 274 pounds which is probably about as much as I could have hoped for. There were a couple of instances where things did tend to go off the rails. I recall one night where I was eating garlic bread sticks and practically drinking butter with particular fondness. Anyway, the idea had been to try to put things back on track and hopefully start the trek to dropping another 20 pounds. Unfortunately both Connor and Maddie's birthdays happened this past weekend and there was pizza to be had. It clearly was not my finest hour.
The plus side of all of this is that the weight has held steady at 274, even with the weekend depredations. I've otherwise tried to calorie restrict as much as I can and I think I've been keeping under around 1500 a day or thereabouts. That no doubt helped to balance the pizza and the ice cream sandwich. My problem has always been an issue of portion control. It's hard to stop once you start and it's often easier to simply not start at all, though that's not a long term solution. Frankly, I don't get how people manage to consistently not finish all of a meal. I'm been a member of the clean plate club since I was a kid....or more to the point, I've been a member of the clean plate, grab another plate, and clean that one as well club. I don't think I ever got past the lesson that if a little is good, more is better. Add to that the fact that I think it's almost criminal to waste food and you can see the quandary.
I'd like to believe that I can make any dietary changes into a lifestyle change one day but I'm not sure that's possible. It seems that it would just require too much rewiring of values and beliefs that are pretty fundamental to who I am. So what I'm left with is the constant application of willpower to ride the brake and that becomes exhausting. Worse, I'm left with the certainty that that will fail one day, whether in drips and drabs, or as a tsunami when the dam breaks.
Well, at least it's not as bad as the Tree of Woe.