Tags: drink

lotr eye of sauron

Bippity boppity boo

Welp, as unlikely as it sounds, it looks like I'll be going to Disney World next month. The last time I was there I was still a kid and frankly, never expected a return visit. I did manage to go to Disney Land a couple of years in a row back when Gencon SoCal was still running though. A friend had a friend with those super-duper 20k a year membership dealies and managed to not only get us into the park but we also got a chance to dine at club33. From what I'm told, it's the only place in the entire park where you can get an alcoholic beverage and served as the private club Walt would take investors and business associates to while there. It was quite an experience but I figured that would be my last interaction with Disney in my lifetime.

This particular trip came about because Connie and Jeff wanted to take Maddie and Will down there for a vacation. They invited my mom and grandma along and I guess I got added as a tag-a-long. I feel sort of bad about the whole thing since I'm not exactly a cheerful get up and go sort of person even during the best of times and I don't want to end up being a burden on the trip. All in all, I'm not sure it's really worthwhile since I can't get all that much out of it without a large pain and discomfort tax added on. Even during those couple of trips to Disney Land, I didn't exactly do all that much and only spent a few hours in the part total. Sitting is a major problem no matter what and that makes any sort of ride iffy. It's not usually impossible, but it just means there's a toll to be paid in pain and other issues.

That aside, it's also not as if I've gotten a crapload of exercise over the months and years. Hell, I probably get less physical activity than anyone short of a coma patient. I've always been able to buck it up for cons and like in the past, putting months worth of physical exertion into a few days, but who knows how long I'll be able to keep that up. Disney World is an amazingly sprawling place, as you can see from the map, and I'm sure the one constant is that there will be a crapload of walking from one place to another.

So has anyone actually been to Disney World lately? Is there anything that I should make a point of seeing? About the only thing that's on my list is I heard there was a Coke pavilion somewhere in Epcot Center that has various coke flavors from around the world. There's one particularly infamous one called the Beverly from Italy that is described as being absolutely rancid. It might seem odd to travel over 1000 miles just to drink something you know will taste absolutely horrid but my curiosity has been piqued but all the hype around it. There are even quite a few youtube videos, filming people's reactions to tasting it. Here's an example:

So is there anything else I should try to see while I'm down there?
gamer tetris

Promise delayed, but kept

So it's a bit further along then I planned but I'm finally going to get around to sushi vending machines. Now, it'd probably be a bit of a letdown if I just popped up a picture of said machine so I figured I'd explore the entire idea of vending machines to begin with. While most of us have no doubt seen machines that vend soft drinks, cigarettes (for those individuals older than 10-15 anyway), and snack foods, that's about as far as it goes for the most part. There used to be a vending machine in the basement of the University of Chicago hospital that would dispense hot pastrami sandwiches and fries, which is about the coolest thing I've ever run across personally. I imagine those things are rare since it's the only one of its kind I've ever run across.

The japanese have taken vending machine technology and proceeded to kick the rest of the world's ass. There are times it seems that there is nothing they can't or won't sell through a vending machine. Not only that, their vending machines seem to do it just do it better. Just take a look at an average drink machine there and compare it to the last one you've seen.

The sheer number of options is pretty impressive, not to mention that most of these machines will dispense hot beverages at the same time. It'll actually heat up your can of coffee or whatever for you alongside cans of chilled soda. That's pretty impressive considering that it's more than our coke machines can manage and is apparently profit-generating to boot. Speaking of coke machines...

It almost looks like what would happen if that transformer cube whozit hit a coke machine.

So not only do the Japanese vending machines do it better, they also sell things that we don't run into in the states. Not only are they still selling cigarettes through them but you can buy booze as well.

Can you just imagine the run on this sort of machine if they put it on some college campus in the states? All you would need is to put it next to the 'medical' marijuana vending machine and it might be the most popular place on campus.

Beverages aside, since I've been looking into the subject I've seen pictures of vending machines in Japan that sell an amazing variety of foodstuffs. Forget bags of chips. There are machines which sell fresh eggs, udon noodles, ramen, and even natto. I know fermented soybeans are probably infinitely more popular there than it would be here, but I still find it hard to believe that there are enough patrons to justify such a vending machine. I mean, who walks down the street and thinks to themselves, man, I just wish there were a way I could get a pre-packaged chunk of soybeans that looks like someone blew snots all over them and tastes gagarific. There's even a vending machine that dispenses sushi.

I think you probably have to have a lot of guts to contemplate the idea of eating raw machine shot out of a vending machine in most cases. It seems like it would be open invitation to experience the stomach flu and we all know where that ends up.

The funny thing is while I wouldn't trust a sushi machine located in the states, I could see myself trusting one in Japan. Maybe it's nothing but pure bias, but it seems to me that the Japanese have a sense of general societal responsibility that doesn't exist here. I'm more likely to trust that some wage slave there is sure to stock the machine with fresh offerings each day rather than keeping the old stuff around to increase the profit margin.

I know it's been said in many places but it's hard not to perceive the Japanese as an orderly and law-abiding people. Believe it or not, this fact is actually reflected heavily in their vending machines. There are vending machines everywhere in the country, even in places you might not normally expect them to be. Take a moment and think about the most infamous Japanese vending machine of all time, the one that sells used school-girl panties.

If you look at the linked related video, this whole host of adult vending machines are located in the equivalent of bumfuck nowhere. If you stocked a vending machine like this with pr0n and put it in the boonies in the United States, I'll bet you dollars to donuts the damn thing would be destroyed and emptied within a week. Hell, a week is probably an overestimation in this case. Forget for the moment that you have a society where a laboring rice farmer treks home at the end of a hard day's work and stops to pick up some pr0n and a dildo from a vending machine on his way. Also forget that in this society there's actually some business man or company who feels that it's a profitable venture to place such a set of vending machines in the middle of a bunch of rice fields. What you have to conclude is that however maladjusted the society is, it's certainly a law-abiding one. From what I've seen, this sort of pr0n-shack filled with vending machines is not an uncommon sight in the sticks in Japan. I can only imagine there are a lot of horny farmers without internet access and a lot of happy teenage boys.

In case you were curious, there actually are rice vending machines where you can apparently buy up to 25 pounds of rice at a go. Again, whoever would have thought there existed such a need for something like this to begin with?

As a conclusion to this ramble through the interesting world of Japanese vending machines, I thought I would end with my favorite out of all the ones I've discovered. Surprisingly, it isn't even the used panty machine. Enjoy.

dr horrible death ray

Chock full of natural herbs and supplements fresh from Mother Nature's ass crack

I'm feeling relatively blah today. I feel sort of blah most days but it seems a bit more pronounced this time around. Shelley came and dropped off the hillbilly heroin refill last night which allowed me to sleep to 8am this morning instead of the customary 5am. I've been waking up at 5am for the entire week so far and trust me, that's not a great hour to wake via pain. Well, actually, I'm not sure any hour of the day is a good one to be woken by stabbing pain but 5am is just a little more suck than most of the others. Without the slow release meds, I had just been popping larger amounts of codeine and oxy, and neither of them were enough to get me through a complete sleep cycle. It's beyond obnoxious to be woken up and exhausted, yet be completely unable to get back to sleep. I usually just have to putter about until the meds kick back in and that usually takes a couple of hours. I had been hoping that the reintroduction of the hillbilly heroin would have bought me a bit more time than a measly 3 hours, but them's the breaks.

A while back I picked up a couple cases of Amp for free and I decided to try to foist them off on someone on Craigslist. I just don't get energy drinks. They've never provided any boost that I can feel the few times I've tried them and they usually have the equivalent caloric content if you simply served a can of lard. I'm hardly a calorie counter, but it seems ridiculous to drink something that's packing that much sugar and doesn't even taste good. If it's going to be a ridiculous serving of sugar, it should at least resemble a boston cream pie or something.

Anyway, someone responded to the ad saying they wanted to come over and pick it up this morning. I'm not exactly holding my breath here. I think it's a safe assumption that 90% of the people on Craigslist are freaking flakes. At first I was a bit ansy about even handing out my home address, but I decided it wasn't worth the effort of picking a neutral place to meet. At least this way I can be stood up at home rather than having made the effort to actually go somewhere. There's only a half hour left until 'morning' is officially over and I think the odds are good I'm still stuck with the Amp. Feh.